Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Miracles..



A surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is considered to be divine. Thats the definition of a miracle. Why cant they happen when you need them? Why do they show up when they really aren't "needed" when someone else could use one more that you? 

I'm sure most of you know that my Grandpa isn't doing well at all and has been in the hospital for what seems like forever.. with cancer. We have been moved from Grand River Hospital to Freeport and he is now in hospice care. My Grandpa has good and bad days just like everyone else in this world but he keeps his head held high and keeps trucking through his battle. My mom and I feel like we live at the hospital because we are there so often taking shifts so that my Grandpa has someone with him almost all the time. Hes not always alert when you are there so on those days you just sit back and relax and then there are the days where he has you running around like a chicken with its head chopped off. He has days were he will laugh with you until your stomach hurts and then other where you feel like you have lost him. Lately we are experiencing alot of the days where it feels like we are slowly losing him.  You can tell my Grandpa is slowly starting to lose his battle against cancer. You can tell hes ready to go as soon as everyone around him is ready to let him go. 

I try to tell myself that I'm ready for him to go and be comfortable where he belongs because the way he is right now isn't how he wants to live. But the more I think about my life without my Grandpa in it I start to realize that I might not be so alright with it. My Grandpa is one of a kind. I didn't really notice it until he started fighting cancer... I guess you take these things for granted when you don't have a time limit with the person. My Grandpa has touched alot of peoples lives and I don't think he even realizes it. I have to admit I am going to be lost without my Grandpa. It's going to get some getting used to without him around but I am thankful for every minute I spend with him right now. 


When I see my Grandpa now hes not even the same man he used to be. I was looking back at pictures the other night  and my Grandpa doesn't even look the same anymore. Cancer has completely taken over his body.  One thing that hasn't changed about my Grandpa is his part in my life. My Grandpa has always loved listening about all the latest and greatest that is going on in my life. While my Grandpa has been battling cancer a miracle happened to me. I met a boy.. not just any boy.. I met Matthew Harrison.

Matt is one of a kind..hes the most caring, loving guy I have ever met in my life. After getting to know Matt and starting to realize that I really like him it was important that my Grandpa met him. My Grandpa wants his princess (what he calls me) to be treated the right way and I finally found a guy who does that. I had told my Grandpa all about Matt and and he told me he wanted to meet him. My Grandpa started to slowly go down hill and I didn't know if they were going to get a chance to meet but my Grandpa pulled through and met Matt. 

The two of them get along great! My Grandpa told Matt to take care of his princess when he is gone because I deserve the best and it really meant alot to see him meet and get along so well. My Grandpa isn't going to get to know Matt that well but I know from where hes going hes going to be keeping an eye on him.


As far as my Grandpa goes I am thankful for every second I spend with him. My Grandpa is such an amazing man and I am going to miss him like crazy but its time for God to take over and make him comfortable. Please everyone keep us in your prayers. 

1 comments:

Louise (Mamilou)

Will do Amanda. This is beautifully written and such a great hommage to your Grandpa..... it is always hard, never easy to let go of someone you love and care so deeply for.... but as you say there are times when you have to let God take over and do what is best for this person you are going to miss so much. He will always be in your heart and watching over you from above.

Stay strong, with your mom and your Grandma.... God bless