Sunday, December 16, 2012

Missing You

Two weeks ago tomorrow a very special man was taken away from alot of people. On Monday December 3rd my Grandpa passed away from kidney cancer. He had a very rough but quick battle against the horrible disease. It took everything in him to fight as hard as he could to try to beat the disease. God decided it was time to take him into his hands to take care of him from now on.

My Grandpa was such an amazing man while he was around and i'm sure while hes up in heaven looking down on all of us he is doing some serious goodness up there for everyone. I am constantly thinking about him, about what he is doing, how he is feeling, who he is meeting, and what he has said about us that haven't come to be with him yet.

I haven't had alot of time in the past week and a half to think much about how much I truly missed my Grandpa because of how busy our family was with planning the funeral and getting everything/everyone organized for that. We all went through the motions of saying our goodbyes and listening to everyone tell us their fondest memories about my Grandpa as they passed through the line at the visitation. While standing in line meeting everyone I couldn't believe how many people showed up to the visitation/funeral. I know my Grandpa touched alot of peoples lives but the line just seemed like it was never going to end.

Since things have started to get back to normal in everyone's lives things are starting to kick in with my family. We are starting to miss my Grandpa more and more every day. I have always missed my Grandpa but now the missing has gone to another level.

Its starting to feel real that he is no longer here to talk to or see. I am constantly having memories flash through my mind from when he was around and all of the good times that we spent together. I am constantly having flashbacks of the last time I saw my Grandpa at Freeport.  I am trying to remember the last thing I said to my Grandpa and the last thing that he said to me. I am constantly thinking about how Christmas is going to be without him there physically. My Grandpa was the main entertainment on Christmas day. Between his amazing Christmas dinner and the always interesting but boring conversations about money he always kept us on our toes.

This Christmas without him around is defiantly going to be different and feel weird but we all know that he is going to be watching us from above. He is constantly watching us from above and I think that is what makes it a little easier for me. My Grandpa physically isn't in my life anymore but spiritually he will always be here.

No one will ever take the place of my Gpa in my life. My Grandpa was a very special man and no one can compare to him. I want him to know that we all miss him very much and that Grandma is doing awesome. I want him to know that there isn't one day that passes that we don't think about him and talk about him.

Thank you to everyone for all of your love and support. It has meant so much to us.


Louise (Mamilou)

Very touching tribute Amanda. Very well written. Like you say the memories will never go away or be taken from you. You will always have that. I'll be thinking of you and your family at Christmas time (as our family will also be going through similar emotions after losing our little Noah a month ago today). It's hard and I understand how you feel. Hang in there.


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